The Look

I'd like to be an orgasm artist.  Not as in causing orgasms (wait, what?  Sure I would!) but capturing them.  Among other things.  I have my signature look, the question is what use to apply it to.

Take the Mitchell portrait.  I'm drawn to it because it's a strong image.  Bound to offend some yet it's graceful.  I find it honest, different from the usual porn pose.  I like those, of course, but they're...I dunno, a dime a dozen.  Forced, false.   Any photog can grab a typical cheesecake shot, but the Mitchell image projects character.   It's edgy.  I've got a bunch of shots of Shanna Evans but almost all of the are men's mag cliches.  They're worth doing because they're Shanna Evans.   I want to do more explicit nudity, and explicit sex, but it's important to find my own voice in the images. 

I've found one shot of Annie Sprinkle performing her signature move that I intend to try drawing soon.  The image doesn't formally lend itself to my look (it doesn't really grab me on its own) but I'm pretty sure I can make it work.   So, fair warning.  It's a pic I've seen before, might be the only one out there, not thrilled with that, and I haven't watched Devil Inside Her again yet.  But I'm eager to try this one out.

I'd do porn star portraits if I knew who more of them are.  Not familiar with any of today's names.  I was a 70s-80s guy mostly, some 90s.  Might not be a future specializing in that. 

Basically, people like the look I give my drawings, and - not to be egotistical - so do I.  Well, as a subject the one thing I want most is to stand up for my values and celebrate sexuality.  I want to be sex-positive.  The best way to do that, I think, is to take images that would ordinarily be considered... well, anything but art or beautiful, anything from vulgar to just plain titillation...and find the beauty in them.   For example, I don't think most people want Annie Sprinkle urinating on their wall.  You know what I mean.  But then most people don't want to showcase a picture of a guy getting a finger in his urethra either.  I don't - OUCH??  But people do want a Mapplethorpe on their wall.  Mapplethorpe found beauty in sex, and vitality in the honest expression of it.  Mapplethorpe's contribution has been  invaluable and progressive... not only to art but to our acceptance of our own nature and how we embrace or reject it as a society.  I don't think I'll ever be an artist to compare, but I can aspire. 

"The Male Gaze" is a big contentious topic.  Me, I love the body...but I watch the face as much as the body.  No, I can't usually tell when an actress is faking it.  But there are some that clearly go through the motions not feeling them...and then there are others.  Them I find joy in.  I find intense beauty in a genuine orgasmic expression.  I'd love to be known for that.  My idea of beauty doesn't lie in propriety, in being staid or refined or censored.  It doesn't lie in the cookie-cutter blonde boundaries of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models - they're lovely, I'm sure, but I've never been able to tell them apart.  Give me a punk girl to look at instead.  Let me draw a sexy shaved head or mohawk or one of the brave models proving that vitiligo is nothing to be ashamed of.  Let me celebrate positive transgression of conformity.
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Egon Schiele had his statement.  I want mine.  His was sexual dynamism.  Ideally mine would be the sensuality, the tactility of the body...the textures and tastes.  Damn, I'm finally reaching this moment so late in my life, I hope it's not too late.