Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Out of Time

Mom keeps falling asleep tonight when I talk to her.  My time is up, I think.


Those dreams I had that I believed were psychic?  The first four I ever had that felt like "that kind" of dream were of the future.  I had them back when I was in high school, and then when Dana first arrived in LA.  These dreams were set at some indeterminate point in the future, after 2010.  I dreamt that Dana and I reunited after a long rift.

There had not been any such rift when I had those dreams.  Nor did I believe in ESP at that time, yet I woke up with this puzzling certainty that the dreams had just shown me something  that was absolutely going to happen someday.

I really believed it would.  I really believed Dana would reconcile with me.


I don't want to die, but I also don't want to live with the grief that's coming, the  terror of being homeless and penniless, and I cannot face being alone.  I have nothing to live for.   I just don't want to hurt Jesseca.

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